Will you be my friend?

I've been spending a little more time on Facebook since we upgraded our internet. I still don't post anything very often, and haven't put up pictures since the boy was like 6 months old, but I like seeing what others I know are up to, and catching up a bit with people I haven't seen in years.

But I do have some issues with the whole thing.

Mostly the "friend" thing. Though I'm flattered by friend requests from people I know and don't know (or don't remember) I'm often led to wonder: Why do you want to be my friend? How do I ignore friend invites without offending? Or should I care?

When random people that I went to high school with (but never spoke to and don't remember) , or my little brother's friends, or my friends' little brothers, or better yet, my little brother's friends' little brothers add me as a friend, what am I supposed to think? Do you really want me for a friend, or did you just recognize my name and are trying to boost your friend count? Because really, I don't really care what you're up to. And I don't want all my status updates and comments and random stuff broadcast to you every second.

But then again, I'm posting on the internet for all to see, so what's the matter with one more (albeit random) person seeing it?

Maybe I'm just stingy with the word friend. Maybe if they were called acquaintances. Or something else.

Am I just being a dork? Or rude? Should I get over the fact that I might not consider all my "friends" in the same light?

How do you decide who to be-"friend"?


Bethany said...

I confess that when I first signed up for Facebook I told Matt I was going to beat him on the friend count, so I added everyone I recognized. It's turned out to be really fun watching what people are up to! I do find that blogging is much more personal and I feel that I am closer to my blogging friends.

Elisabeth said...

I used to just add everyone because I didn't want to be rude. But, now there are so many things that pop up whenever anyone updates their status, etc. that I have started deleting people that I really don't know or who's profiles I never look at. I have also started ignoring requests. I think some people may see it as rude, but facebook has just gotten so big that there are way too many people and degrees of relationships on there now...

You do need to put some new pictures up though :)

Rachael said...

That's why I deleted my facebook account. The whole thing seems fake and dumb to me. If I want to be people's friend...I am. You know?

Grant said...

Obviously all of you have not realized something of a new eternal truth...it is not official unless it is on FB! Seriously! You aren't dating or married, unless you have declared it to the world on FB. You are not "truly" friends with someone unless you are friends on FB. Something didn't really happen, unless you have it documented with pictures on FB. And no one can truly know the real you until you have posted your likes, dislikes, favorite quotes/movies/music/books/etc, etc on FB!!!

Well, now that that is cleared up, I will let you in on a little secret Janelle...I ignore friend requests. And maybe if you are not feeling mean enough to ignore them, then you can add them and then afterwards just delete them from your Friends list because it won't notify them of what you have done ;) If you aren't feeling up to that, then just make a section in your Friends list and label it "Enemies" or "Acquaintances" or "Did They Really Just Ask Me To Be There Friend"...and again, no worries, they won't be able to see it.

Lisa C said...

I am a total facebook snob. I don't want to get notified about lots of people's lives especially because it clutters up my wall and makes me miss things that happen to people I care about. I "ignore" requests from any obscure classmate I want even if I do know them. I figure HS is over so they probably won't get offended if not everyone wants to be their FB friend.

Kbiehl said...

Janelle, you make me laugh so much because I think the same thing. Most of the time, I think "who is this person" Then I feel bad that I don't remember them. I have not added people before and I don't think it sends anything back to them. Or maybe I am just being rude too!!!

Jennifer said...

I'm pretty sure it doesn't send them anything if you ignore their request. I just add everyone that I know or am interested in what they are doing now. Most of them I just want to see what they've been up to and then I don't really mind if I delete them or vice versa. I just like to see where people are at in their lives. You shouldn't feel bad if you don't want to add obscure folks. If I don't know the person or can't remember them, then I ignore it. There's no shame in not wanting everyone all up in your business.

Sara said...

That's funny because I've thought the same thing. I'm not really into facebook much. Just check it now and then and unless it's someone I know well or care to keep in touch with at all (like someone from high school), I just ignore they're friend request. I'd totally add you though! :)