7.27.2009

AssUMe

We all know what happens when we assume.

So why do we do it?

I have found my self increasingly using the phrase "I assume" to begin sentences, particularly to my husband, when it would be just as easy to rephrase the statement and ask a question.

Instead of:
"I assume you don't mind..."
"I assume it's okay with you if..."
"I assume you're going to..."
"I assume you did..." or
"I assume you want..."

I should be saying:
"Do you mind...?"
"Is it okay if...?"
"Are you planning to...?"
"Did you...?" and
"Do you want...?"

It takes the same amount of time, but avoids all assumptions and allows the other person to express an opinion other than the one I've already decided for them. While these are frequently trivial matters, when I start by saying "I assume" I leave less room for other opinions without making the other person feel bad or appear disagreeable.

Besides, it's very narcissistic of me to assume that I know what the other person thinks or feels about any given topic.

Feel free to punch me if I start doing it to you.

2 comments:

Alicia said...

Yeah, I got in trouble last night we asking a "Did you..., or did you...?" question. My husband informed me that the first "Did you.." would have been sufficient, and I would've received the smae information without expressing a seeming lack of confidence in him. If that makes sense.

Stephanie Michelle said...

I hear ya!!