Not MY child!

I know you've heard them.

Those stories other parents tell.  And you've thought, I'm so glad that's not my child.  My child would never do that!

Those stories of baby powder sprinkled surreptitiously all over the house.  Of crayons marking up the wall.  Of playing barber on self (or sibling).  Of poop smeared head to toe and everywhere within reach.  Of quiet destruction behind closed doors during "naptime."  Of emergency room visits for toy extraction from nasal cavities.

No, your child would never do anything like that.

Until your child does.

I've been lucky that way.  Ella and Rico, while maybe not model children, have been fairly tame in the mischief department.  Sure, they get into things they shouldn't, and sure, they cause occasional havoc, and even break things now and then.  But overall, they are pretty good at knowing what things are off limits.

Louie, not so much.

Tame, that is. 

I know she looks all sweet and innocent on the surface, but underneath, she's a sneaky little devil.

Lou is no longer allowed to wear shorts.  Or nightgowns.  Or dresses without tights.  Or anything that allows easy access to her diaper.  Why?
That's why.  Leave her alone in a poopy diaper for more than a minute, and that's what you get.

Poop.  Everywhere.  All over her, the floor, or the crib, or wherever she happens to be.  Granted, it has been quite a while, but I'm not one for taking chances.

Coloring generally includes not only the paper or coloring book, but the table, chair, and any part of herself she can reach.

On more than one occasion, we have had to call on the tweezers to extract foreign objects from her nasal canals.  Beans, bread, beads, you name it.  Luckily we have escaped a trip to the doctor or emergency department, but I'm not holding my breath.

At nap time everyday, she is alone in the room she shares with Ella and Rico, and more often than not, falling asleep is put on hold for exploration.  Her favorite thing to do is to drag a chair over to Ella's dresser and destroy go through her jewelry box and all the special things Ella collects up there for "safe-keeping."

And just yesterday, Rico ran in to inform me that she had (moved a chair, climbed up on it and) gotten the diaper cream (from the top of the dresser where we keep it out of reach) and was making a mess with it.  Thankfully that mess was mostly contained on the tube of cream itself, with only small dribbles on the floor, which cleaned up fairly quickly.

She still has yet to cut her hair, or anyone else's, but that's because the scissors are kept conscientiously out of reach.

But then again, at the end of the day, she really is a sweet little thing.  And I wouldn't have her any other way. 


mrs. olson said...

That is so funny. Some kids are just busier than others :)

Emily said...

Oy. It's a good thing she's so cute.

Amy said...

oh my! i think that picture made me a little nauseous and it does even when I see it in my own house, my 2 year old has started that too! YUCK!

Tiffany D. said...

Oh, she is just so cute!! I have never been able to say, "My kid would never do that!" (Although, my mom did, and her 4th child was beyond devil child!) But seriously, I'm still waiting for that super easy child! Maddie was for about 2 years, that all has changed.

Hendershots said...

We have literally had every one of those experiences at our house in the last couple of weeks--including the diaper cream! I also had a less mischievous one with my first, but #2 is proving quite different!!

Momma Strain said...

I literally had a loud belly laugh over that picture! Oh that girl is going to cherish that one ;)

crystal b. said...

Ohhhhh man, that stinks! (No pun intend.) Those are the moments that the gag reflex gets a real workout. Sadly, my child did every single thing you listed in your opening paragraphs with the exception that it was Comet, not baby powder.

I'm thinking that your little gal might be easy to potty train. She hates sitting in poop. So you've got that goin' for ya. :)